Did you ever meet someone amazing and thought that you’ve found your ZING, but the minute you start texting it all fades away? And eventually, you’re all by yourself crying upon the fact that how lame your conversation skills are. You’ll be happy to know that it happens to the best of us. As per some dating experts, texting is supposed to be an art but what’s the point of mastering an art that only relies on being fake to each other initially.
Unlike the real deal, having a conversation via texts is a lot different and complex than what we expect it to be. Everyone is trying to pretend that they live a perfect life or portraying the best version of themselves. But this is not how real connections are made, you have to know each other’s flaws and know about the shit you are going through. You can sure get attracted to someone who looks great in their snaps or living the sort of life that fascinates you, but in the long run, everything’s is going to go into vain as you’ll get to know the real them. And the saddest part is, people are literally relying on this to know someone rather than meeting up with them in real, which is the reason why most of the people now are not happy in their relationships. They fell in love with a different side of someone and get in a relationship with a different one.
We all fantasize about the old real love stories that we see in movies or listen to from older people, but in order to feel that kinda love we need to work according to their ways too. In titanic, Jack never waited for Rose to come online so that he could start a conversation with her neither Juliet ever sent Romeo random snaps so that he could initiate a conversation. They all met each other and got to know in reality, which is why these kinds of impossible love stories seem so real as they actually can happen once you see each other without any filter, physically and emotionally. The same thing goes for the older generation, they didn’t meet their partners over Tinder or slide through their DMs, which is why they seem so happy together even after so many years whereas we find it almost impossible to find love even after numerous relationships.
However, we can’t deny the fact that texting is one of the best ways to get in touch with someone we admire, so how can we make the most of it? Simple, BE REAL! Stop trying to play the texting games that these online dating experts, YouTubers and bloggers keep telling you to. If you genuinely like someone, be open to them about your feelings and try to talk without any filter. Don’t try to act like you don’t care because you do, BADLY! You may try playing it cool but once they move on and get with someone else, your world is gonna be ripped apart and you know it.
So, what’s the solution? If you’ve got a crush currently, reverse your game plan and try these things for a change:
- Stop that halt and reply game (Don’t be available all the but when you are having a conversation, reply on time! Show them that this conversation means something to you)
- Start messaging first (You are dying to talk to them, right? So stop dying and text!
- It’s is okay to be personal (Nobody’s going to tell you who they really are unless you ask them)
- Text to meet (The only purpose of texting should be setting up a date or even a friendly meeting, hang out with each other’s real selves)
- Don’t put a personality filter on! (Text like you would talk to them in real, don’t try to act extra classy or your favourite novel/movie character because it is all going to fade away once you meet)
- Don’t judge someone on the basis of someone’s texting skills (Some people might feel uncomfortable talking personal shit over texts and it’s completely okay! Give them a shot and give a chance to their real personality i.e. MEET THEM!)
The personality filter is the reason why people are not able to have an interesting conversation when they meet after months of texting. That texting personality is chilling at your home while the real one is out on the field.
So, try this inverted game plan for a change as it might help in building a real connection with someone. And, if you come out to be a little desperate or lonely to the other person because of this, ask yourself if you really want to be with someone like this?
